I don’t know how often you do it. But sometimes when I find myself in a fragile state I start looking up people from my past, just to see how they are doing. With social media these days, it’s literally just a click of the button and suddenly you know how all those “I’ll check on you in 6 months time, or a year” turned out to be without ever getting in touch.
Is that healthy? Is that a today’s norm, to stalk someone’s life? Because essentially that’s what it is… Do we do it because we miss the person or there are some untold things.
Personally, I am not proud of it, but maybe because I haven’t found the answers to my questions yet. Why do we care so much about the people who are no longer in our lives or perhaps never even been there? Are we just followers, as the ones you can get on Instagram or Twitter?
I lay here contemplating after my mini stalk session thinking why do I even do it, it doesn’t make me happy. There is no way to block someone out of your life completely even when you try and I do try. So how do you fully move on in today’s modern social media rounded world?
Maybe we just need time, or “Black Mirror” type social media block on all those people we chose to stay away from?
Would love to hear what you think.
Cheers with an elephant in the glass.
glass of elephant 
The only way to not ‘stalk’ is to completely isolate yourself from social media. And friends and family who use social media. And colleagues who use social media. In short, I don’t think it is possible and we are all guilty of it to some degree. Some more than others.
The danger, as I’m sure you are aware, is to believe that what you are viewing is the perfect life. I don’t post much on Facebook, but I’m certainly not going to upload a picture of me watching a mundane TV show while drinking a can of crappy beer because I had a dreadful day at work.
Why do we do this?
In part because we are curious, even if we have no interest in maintaining or making contact with a person. We are also very good at thinking about “what if” and I guess our minds are wired to think social media can help us see. It can’t, but irrational thoughts wouldn’t be irrational if they were rational, or something like that.
We can and usually do move on from people who have left out life, for better or worse. But this doesn’t mean forgetting. Experiences are what have got us to where we are, I think it is important to remember these, even some of the painful ones. Forget, and we risk lose part of who we are.
I’m pretty sure I am starting to ramble now!
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Thank you for your thoughts. You are right the only way not to “stalk” is to litterally stay away from social media and you can’t really do that. Of course you can limit yourself, but then again, why would I have to limit myself for the sake of not looking somewhere. I guess it is a bit similar to asking questions for the answers you don’t want to hear. Just don’t ask. Just don’t look. Probably comes better with practice. 🙂
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