Week 7 feels like such a blur to be honest. My mind went into a bit of an overdrive and dragged me along with it. Now that I had some time to reflect on it, I can see similar patterns which happened during my previous jobs. Keeping myself mentally healthy while dealing with the hours and responsibility gets very hard at times. For now I just decided to step back and limit the amount of thoughts I let in. Just file them as I would any other information and attend, when I am ready. For now, this is my week as it gradually all went haywire:
Over the weekend we had a new “yellow” schedule released and for some of us an official email came out asking if our contracts could be extended by one extra week. So it seems that I will have 6 more weeks ahead of me, although strangely it almost feels like the end is just around the corner.
Sunday started very well for me, I felt happy and rested. Day of filming was also nice. We did some day scenes, we did some night scenes with huge artificial rain effect. It looked really quite beautiful. Somewhere in the lines of Blade runner and Drive. I also realised that I don’t seem to be giving enough thanks to the team I work with. As projects go, here people are so nice and friendly. Sure there is a bit of drama now and again, I mean we spend all our days together as if we are on some sort of survival TV show, so similar stuff happens here too: hook ups, break ups, gossips and real friendships. Realising that I only have 6 more weeks left, got me feeling that I need to appreciate people who make this experience so special, much more.
Monday, I woke up earlier and made it to 7.30 am reformer class before work. It felt great. The day seemed to have dragged a little after that though. I had some emails which needed sending and some holiday research which I wanted to be done, so used the down time for that. Also one of the story lines have a break up and I am not sure whether I am projecting, but it feels similar to what I went through. It has thrown me a bit few times. We finished the day with some more fake rain scenes, which were absolutely beautiful by the way and went home. Our trips home usually are the most fun socially I tend to have during the day. Kinda makes it seem a bit sad as I write it, but they really are. It’s the only time during the day we can talk openly about what was happening on set, because when we’re there if anything always trying to defuse any situation and not show our real feelings about it. Our hod team is really cool here and I am super grateful for that, as it is not often the case.
Tuesday. We were filming on set which reminded me a lot of being at home. That was quite welcome. To my surprise I started feeling a little home sick. Also the routine of every day was not doing me any good. I felt bored and guilty for feeling that way. The highlight of the day was the fact that I put a deposit down for the dive master course I wanted to do in Indonesia after New Years. I’ve been thinking of doing it for ages, so glad I can finally do it. Now need to get my equipment sorted. All those things got me exited on otherwise very mentally challenging day.
Wednesday. Another usual day on set. We have been pushing back the hours every day this week, so everyone looked tired. We also went 1 hour overtime, just because the scenes were too complex emotionally to be rushed. After work I had to do some work, but also one of the actors suggested I tried listening to audiobooks. I always felt that listening to a book is like cheating, because you are not reading it yourself, but none the less I decided to give it a go for the first time. So I bought Steve Jobs biography which I started listening to and so far I like it.
Thursday. Last day of the working week and a brand new location, a beautiful one as well. The day went quite quick and every time I had a bit of a quieter moment, I was listening to my audiobook. After work few of us went straight out for some farewell drinks for one of my colleagues. She was my first friend on this job, a bit sad to see her go.
Friday, I did Pilates, slept a bit and went out to this German Brewery place, where one of our actors was performing. It was another leaving do of the second friend I made on this job. Sad once more, but such is this business, people come and go. I lost count of how many sugar free Mojitos I had, but this place was so bizarre yet charming, I actually had a lot of fun. The next day was a battle though.
Saturday, I had two back to back Pilates classes in the morning and I cannot believe I actually was able to do them both. In general I feel like I had quite a productive day, considering that I was so hungover. My mind has been racing a lot this past week, so getting myself to the point of physical exhaustion did some good in stopping it at least briefly.
Stuff I found interesting:
- New holiday plan ideas.
- Is it finally getting cooler or am I just getting used to the climate?
- There was a floating festival going on on Monday to worship the goddess of water. I was told that people put little floating “sacrifices” as a symbol of their worries, troubles and other negative energy and ask the goddess of water for forgiveness and redemption. It really appealed to me.
- Listening to an audio book! Might become a thing for me!
- Divemaster! Just because I am so exited. :))
- German Brewery in Bangkok! Also Christmas declarations everywhere. Was feeling Hyde park winter wonderland vibes!
- Feeling all the feelings is much harder than I thought. For now I decided to take one thing at a time and deal only what’s immediately necessary.
Cheers with a glass full of mentally stable elephant!