Hello friends,

So.

I just got home. Yes, I was outside in the fresh air of Manchester Autumn. Had a little walk. The last couple of days once again turned the tables in my life a little. I know I sound so dramatic, but mainly it is because I am not sure if I should just reveal it here, or let you read my day to day breakdown. Honestly, you just cannot know what the day will bring until it does.

So. As it stands today. I do not have to go to work until 30th of October. The whole production is standing down. One of the actors tested positive, he had a kissing scene with our lead on Friday, most of the team is in self isolation for the next 14 days. Yeaaa.. I can’t quite believe that it is actually true what I have just written. Just a week ago I was so happy being able to come back to work. Oh well, honestly, I understand now how during the times of war people managed to get married after knowing each other for only few weeks. When things are this unpredictable, you really do have to cease a moment.

In other news the UK government released a new three tier system in terms of rules and regulations for lockdown. I think as of today Manchester goes into tier 3. Basically the strictest lockdown. Need to research more into what that means.

I am definitely more at peace now with all the changes, the readings I did a week ago actually helped with that. So If you feel stressed, do give Frankl’s “Man’s search for meaning” book a go.

Hope you guys are staying healthy and sane. This is one hell of the year, things might seem bad and ever changing, but one constant we should rely on is us being kind to each other. I think this is the time when “Love Thy Neighbour” phrase should be practiced (of course in a socially distant manner), this is the time for us to reconnect with people around us (physically or online) and offer the love and support. Hopefully the silver lining of this pandemic will be tighter and more inclusive communities which will bring us all closer together as inhabitants of this planet. 

Here is my week:

Monday. This is still the morning and I am feeling so much love. Just finished chatting to my friend in Portugal who is hopefully coming to spend the new year with me in Lithuania. He also made me realise that I won’t be able to spend it with my family, because I will have to self isolate when I arrive.. In other news, I have been outside today already looking at potential accommodation. I did not like the one I just saw, but somehow don’t feel discouraged at all. I know that by the end of the day I will have something. Also I had a super nice chat with my Mexican pen pal last night. Honestly I think our long distant friendship requires a completely separate post, because by this point it has almost been 6 months and although so much has changed in that space of time for me and for him, we were the one constant variable in each others lives to rely on. Weird right? But then again, my approach now, is not to question how I feel if I feel good, so I won’t. Also my still current flatmate is back to work today. I am so excited for her!! So it is the evening now and my last night in this apartment. I have managed to find a a proper private place to go to, so I will be moving there tomorrow. Bitter sweet ending to my life in my first Manchester home, a bit sad as per usual. Also I still haven’t learnt to enjoy packing!

Tuesday. Packing almost done. I was kinda half way packed already from over two weeks ago when I first got sent home to isolate. Yet still I managed to acquire more stuff in this short time I was in Manchester already, how is that even possible? Hmm maybe it’s just me not sausage rolling my clothes this time around when packing, which gives that impression of a fuller suitcase. Too lazy for the sausage rolls. Flash forward and I am in my new bed. Just finished doing some work and getting ready for tomorrow. Cannot wait to go to work. Also my new area is well fancy. A bit ironic that I get to live in a semi basement though. I won’t be back here until the weekend though, we will be filming in Skipton, well they have been filming there already, I am just late to the party. Oh well.

Wednesday. I am in bed now. It was a long day! Honestly for most part when I was not being preoccupied with all the things I had to do work wise I felt like flying. Was so so happy to be back at work with everyone. Was way more excited than on my birthday actually. Couldn’t stop chatting to people. What a nice way to feel really. In a way it’s a big thanks to this whole self isolation, because without it I don’t think I would have experienced this kind of joy for being at work again. Probably would have been too tired.  The day was also beautiful and sunny for most part, but we were filming inside this huge mansion so it didn’t really matter. Overall great way to ease back in.

Thursday. Another day another tired me in bed in the evening. Phew.. getting back into the work routine is not as straightforward on the body as I thought. I am happy though. Everyone as per usual was getting tested today, I was not told to do it and deliberately did not bring it up. Following the guidelines, so all is good and proper. The wireless monitoring system has been playing up today so work wise it was a bit challenging. Other than that, still happy to be back. Also been ordering more Keto snacks, which now I hope I will be able to take to work!

Friday. I actually had a very good day. Some things did not go to plan at work, but it didn’t bother me that much. I am this happy to be back. Also my work transport has been sorted so that was some good news I received today. My colleagues are lovely or have I just missed hanging out with people? No no they are. We are still filming outside of Manchester, but I think as of next week we won’t be staying at hotels anymore and will have to commute for an hour. I have been ordering Keto snacks online and I know they have been delivered to my new address. Yay

Saturday. Ah morning in bed… Is it weird that although I spent the last two weeks in bed I am still glad about being in it some more? Fast forward to this evening. I had a lovely pilates class in the afternoon, I was making Keto pizzas and dancing to some new found lovey jazzy tunes, when the email from work came in. Yes as you might guess it wasn’t all good news. Well this time around one of the actors has tested positive so the majority of the crew is in isolation for the next 14 days. So the show is standing down again. I’m yet to find out whether they want me to isolate as well, although I think I was rather careful after coming back to work on Wednesday, so I should be fine, but then again, who knows what our Covid supervening gods will doom on me this time. I might need some serious therapy after this, cause now I feel like I want to cry and laugh in disbelief all at the same time. I never felt so alone ever I think. In a way now I long for those days when I had a boyfriend to confine in at least over the phone when things were happening. Funny, I was so looking forward to being single on a job and not worried that I have to “report” to someone at the end of the day. I know that my past relationship wasn’t healthy, but the way I feel now, I’d take it over feeling like I do. Ahh when is this pandemic going to end? Can you put me to sleep and wake me up when this is all over? It seems like Manchester doesn’t want me here at all. Sending you love!

Sunday. Today I am day drinking. Kinda. Don’t judge me. After the news yesterday my feelings were all over the place and it seems only gin and tonics are helping with this. Also Warhause music album playing on repeat. Yea.. I did pilates in the morning, showered, put a pretty summer dress on and turned the heating up in my new flat. Danced and talked to friends on a phone. So grateful for the technology! Whatever is happening to me, really seems like it’s leading somewhere, not sure where, but I have faith that it is where I have to go, so I just surrender and give in to the whole pandemic experience.

Highlights:

  • New apartment.
  • My new area.
  • Being back at work. Hell yes!
  • Seeing my colleagues and talking to real people. How I missed that.
  • Warehause album.
  • Pilates apparatus – cannot rave enough about it. I am inlove!
  • My landlords – beautiful family. Very helpful and supportive. Lucky me.
  • Keto snacks forever!
  • Video calls!! 
  • Beautiful Autumn – my favourite season.

Cheers with a glass full of strong yet letting go of control elephant!