When will it be enough and I will just call it quits to try and save some sanity or the remaining bits of of my nervous system.

“Fight a good fight” Paulo said, but can we consider it a fight if we constantly get defeated?

I only tried surfing once in pretty flat waters, but to me this year feels like barely holding on to the surf board and being hit by waves time and time again. Also in this example I would be a pretty decent surfer. I think defeat hits harder when you feel like you’ve been prepared to handle tough stuff, but it still knocks you down. Kinda like that time when I was so “fit and healthy” doing my 300km camino walk and got hit by a descending kidney stone. Excruciating physical pain mixed with emotional realisation that in the world were we were taught to strive for victory we haven’t learnt to live through failure.

In the words of Octavio Paz “our cult of death is also a cult of life, in the same way that love is a hunger for life and longing for death”. Maybe our cult of victory should also be a cult of defeat, in the same way hunger for success is also longing for failure? Without one we wouldn’t have another, so it does make sense in a way.

I don’t know much about the celebration of death, but from what I do know, it is a very colourful and lively event. I think this year could really do with a massive celebration of our overall defeat agains this pandemic. There is no denying that we are not that much closer to winning as we were almost a year ago. Covid – 1; Humanity – 0. But then again, maybe that is all more of the reason to celebrate.

We survived, we lived and we will have one hell of the tale to tell.

Cheers with a glass full of elephant.

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