Hello!

My Berlin adventure is coming to an end. When all is said and done I know I will miss it a lot. It was a very personal journey for me I think. You see I had a very close relationship with my grandma, she practically raised me and a lot of qualities she instilled in me and life lessons she shared I remember and try to live by everyday. As a little girl she lived in Siberia with her extended family, because they all have been sent there during the war for being German and jewish. At the end of it she managed to escape with her mother from there and went as far west as they could. That is how they ended up in what now is Lithuania. My Oma (German for the grandmother) lived believing she was mainly Russian, she was told that her father was a Russian soldier who died in a war and because of a political situation then her mother faked her birth certificate to match that. Anyway I won’t go in too much detail, but being here in Berlin felt like reconnecting with the part of my grandmother and in a way understanding myself better. I really hope I get to return here and actually learn the language. 

The job itself is OK. It is not particularly difficult or exciting for me, because I came in to do the last two episodes and it does not feel like my baby as I was not on it from the start. It is a fun little show and I wish I could have done it from day one. Also we were supposed to shoot for 28 days, now we have done 29 already, so only a little extension. The people here are nice crew and cast so honestly I could almost say it is as cushy as I though it was going to be. I just need to relearn how to sleep at night and maybe I will be less moody with my posts here. All is genuinely well. I just need to listen to my body and rest. 

Hope all of you are also doing genuinely well and staying healthy mentally and physically.

Big love.

***

Monday. This week I am going to spend a lot of time just being driven in the car to work and from it. About an hour one way. Also we are doing 3 extended days this week, which is already a 6 day week. I am questioning the legality of it. So today went rather shit actually. We were shooting scenes in corridors and it was very narrow with bad video output signal, I stood for most part of the day and started feeling very tight chested. I haven’t checked my heart this summer when I was doing my health check, so maybe that’s something I should look into. On the other hand I had a nice chat with one of the actors, about my way of life and hiking. I was thinking recently about this in general, because I am starting to notice that  my way of life automatically isolates me from some of the people. Basically speaking, they don’t want to be my friends, because I won’t be around. Also it goes with some judgment that what I am doing is not right. Anyway, it was refreshing to talk to someone who understood.

Tuesday. Extended day. Busy, but we achieved everything we had to and more. Still in the mansion location shooting in narrow corridors. At the end of the day I had a bath and got some German studies in. Can’t seem to fall asleep though so another short night ahead.

Wednesday. Woke up at 6am to the email from production about another covid stand down… had to go and get tested in the morning and wait for the news if we are going ahead with filming in the afternoon. As I was about to take a nap at 2.30pm the director messaged me saying that himself and the dop aka my travel bubble are at the reception to pick me up to go to set. That was unexpected! Lucky I wasn’t asleep, as it could have been a lost cause for me. Now I’m on set and everyone is greeting each other as if it’s our birthdays.. apparently 6 people went down with covid so shooting now is very risky.. a number of people said that they won’t work with this production company ever again as it seems that they don’t care… Yeaa Morocco flashbacks.. also before you ask. It is the same company.. I haven’t learnt obviously..

Thursday. Another day in the same location. Gets boring after a while. Overall the day went ok. At one point the director said that we will wrap early as everything was going so well, but as soon as he said it it all went downhill and we didn’t even complete our day. Yes early wrap should never be spoken out loud. In the evening I had the best bath ever. Finally the perfect temperature and did some dualingo before laying in bed and struggling to fall asleep. Ah yes I learnt a new German word for a pillow – Kopfkissen. I think it’s fantastic! Kopf is head and Kissen well you know.

Friday. Extremely tired today. Not sure why, but there you have it. Finishing off the last scenes of the final episode. That does feel very satisfying. 

Saturday. Today was an exhausting day. We finished shooting the whole of episode 8 today and wrapped this mansion location where we spent the whole week and a bit. It always feels like forever when we keep shooting in one place, so looking forward to something new for the last three days. Also cannot believe that this job is almost over. Time does fly. One of the leads form the main girl cast wrapped today. It must have been such a nice show for her, well for all of the girls, because girls normally don’t have roles like that, sadly, glad to see it is changing though. Ah yes my favourite actor here also wrapped, so it feels like the end for sure. 

Sunday. Slept in. All the way till midday. Through my fancy hotel breakfast. That was not my intention, but I just blacked out last night. Ordered some food in and had it with a movie on Netflix. I realised my anxiety is kicking in again as I feel uncomfortable choosing to watch a film I haven’t seen before. I managed though and actually enjoyed watching something new. Also had a pilates class in the evening, but in reality during the class my body just said no. My knee and elbow started playing up. Apparently when I’m very tired my joints refuse to hold me and just wanna pop. So yes I did not push them and went back home to rest and do this.

Highlights:

  • Berlin.
  • The end again.
  • German studies.
  • I keep thinking about all the wonderful people I’ve met here. Before I forget their names I want to make a dedicated post. 
  • Learning more about my German roots.
  • Being back on my keto diet really helped my general wellbeing. It is not just for loosing weight you know. It is also used to help children with neurological disorders like autism, bipolar syndrome, epilepsy and asthma (yes it is also neurological)

Cheers with a glass full of genuine elephant.