This was ready for the last couple of days, but. Life. Work. Mental health. You name it.

Days seem to roll into weeks and weeks into months and it just rolls and rolls I loose track. BUT the week 9 was rather nice. I think we are all very determined to bring the fun back to set as it was definitely lacking.

Our night out in Patong helped with the fun mood that’s for sure. 

At home life seems to go on as well.I feel like some of the people of my my non work life have given up on me. It is very hard to stay present for friends especially on this particular job. I do not want to complain to my friends, but I also do not want to listen to complains and it seems that with some of the friends this was our bonding factor. Shocking now that I think about it.  Also I noticed that if I do not complain about things people assume that I have it so easy and get upset with me that I do nit want to listen to their complains and hurdles. Weird right. Anyway. Peace is something we have to work for. So I should get back to it.

Hope all is well with you my online friends!

Love to all!


Monday. I woke up to a very disturbing dream. A Great Gadsby type of party and champagne glasses being poured and about to be toasted when I see that the champagne is mixed with a fresh human feces. I am about to say something, but am too late so I just watch as this woman is tasting her glass of contaminated champagne, being unsure of what to say. Now as I write it I wonder, maybe I am that woman. When I did Chernobyl, I was in a relationship and my boyfriend at the time was very protective of my health and safety, maybe a little too much as we would argue about it a lot, but ever since that relationship I have not felt the same level of protection ever. My mom was never like that. In a way I kinda miss that. When I think of it, it is a warm feeling to know that you being alive and healthy matters to someone this much or matters at all. I know people are being polite for most part and of course friends do care as well, but it is different when it is someone you love. Loving someone makes us bigger, as that person extends who you are. I missed being in love.

Tuesday. Another Tuesday which feels like Friday. My ear is so blocked. The storm is on the horizon, we are rushing with our scene just to beat it. Kinda good motivation. It is 7 min to wrap now and we are rushing again with the last scene. 

Wednesday. I didn’t sleep very well. I had a dream or maybe more like a sleep experience as I am not sure if it really happened or I just dreamt of it, but basically I was feeling very cold in the night and I felt like I was being bitten by a lot of mosquitoes. My blocked ear resulted in the pain in the both ears and the chest and the eyes this morning. I had to use my emergency inhaler today. Other than that I feel weirdly light, I wonder if perhaps I have a fever and am hallucinating a bit. The time will tell. Hans’s leg hurts, so it seems that Simon T was right, we have reached this stage of the shoot when everyone starts breaking.

Thursday. So last night ended for me in the hospital getting IV and tests run. All good today. I am back at work and actually feel better, everyone is super nice to me today. Also I got antibiotics for my ear infection. We only had one actor in today for the most part of the day, so even though there were a lot of elements, like moving cars, TUK TUKs, extras and fake police raid, we did very well and everyone was happy. We even wrapped earlier so that’s a present.

Friday. Yay. Last night I redownloaded my tinder. Hans was very encouraging of that and even though for a long time I said that I do not want to meet anyone that way, now I think I will let Hans and maybe Danny pick few matches for me almost as an experiment. To see that maybe I am overlooking something or someone by the default of how my mind works. The Friday at work went rather well, considering the rain and the splash bag fogging up. I think we even wrapped early. Joked with Joe about the possible end to the story, because the scripts are not ready yet, so basically anyone can die and it got me quite excited to think that maybe my thoughts will come true. In the evening everyone went for drinks at the Pig and I went to bed. My ear is still hazy so I need all the sleep I can get.

Saturday. Woke up early as I was in bed by 9pm last night. I went for 8:30 abs and arms Pilates. It has been the whole month I think without a single class so I felt it. Had breakfast at the hotel, read a book and chatted to some tinder matches. My delivery of the new underwear has arrived! So the day started well and proceeded to get better after I bumped into Hans, Nina and Danny, who invited me to join them on the scooter ride. Being on the back of the scooter brings me some very positive memories. It was fun, we had dinner in the evening after my acupuncture session which was interesting by the way and ended the night in Potong. 

Sunday. I feel like I wasn’t too responsible last night as I was feeling hungover today and I still take antibiotics for my ear, which gone worse after the night of fun. I still made it to the Pilates class for the legs and glutes, so that’s something. Karolina and Semi, the couple I attended a wedding in Italy for in August, is here so I met up with them on Kamala beach. It felt like it hasn’t been that long since I saw them, so sweet though. We ended up going to Potong again, for a massage and then a drink by the beach, followed by a TUK TUK ride home. Overall very nice weekend. But I do feel tired..


  • Karolin and Semi visiting.
  • Patong and the night of fun with the guys. Good old days.
  • Bringing the fun back to set.
  • IV drip made me glow apparently.
  • Pilates

Cheers with a glass full of fighting elephant.