Hello from Bangkok!

There is a lot going on, on the production side of the job. We are actually not filming because of all the new covid cases. Again my dreams to get time of came true, but this time I am not stressing out. I got a bad case of egzma last week due to all the stress and I refuse to engage mentally for the sake of my physical health.

My sister and her partner and the new baby all have covid as well back in Spain. My friend in Lithuania also got it at the similar time. Here in Bangkok on our production people have fallen like flies. I am glad I am taking all the supplements and feel fine.

My mama back home is on the school holidays and I am happy for her, the family is planing a trip to Spain to meet the new addition. I gave my notice in at work on Tuesday so I am technically free to go and join them. Now that I am no longer on the claustrophobic boat I feel so much better. Life feels better. I wonder was that really just a really bad case of a cabin fever? I will research more of that actually.

This Sunday I went off with Danny The DOP and got me my first Leica. Apart of the camera being something I dreamt of for a while, sharing that experience with Danny was so much better. I find it difficult to put it in words, because I do not see him as a father figure, but I definitely have respect for him which I did not experience much in my life. Maybe this is it. Maybe even my recent dating practices where I was actually treated nicely is just an example how I could have felt if I had a caring father showing me that I deserve better. I grew up with women who never had fathers either, so I was always taught to fight, but actually, it is nice to know that I do not have to fight all the time.

Sending you all the love my online friends. You do deserve more than you think.

***

Monday. First day shooting in Bangkok. Actually it is a night shoot and it gives me strong serpent vibes, so I finally start to relax again. 

Tuesday. I just handed in my resignation. First time I’ve done it on a job, but now I feel like a massive load has been lifted off my back and I feel happy again. Goodness it feels so good. Hans asked me to sit into the scene with him today so we both starred in The Blue. Funny. Also my first proper time. Ah andddd, we are filming in the same location we shot some of The Serpent. Today feels like a bright happy day.

Wednesday. Last night ended with the producer telling me to fuck off. That’s a first. After a bit of thinking through and talking to few people I reached out to him and we eventually hugged it out. It was good, I feel a better person for it. Tonight we are filming on one of the rooftops of Bangkok. It is beautiful. Also semi night so not hot at all and we are replicating a Christmas party. So far Bangkok has been great actually. I am happy to be leaving on the right note.

Thursday. Another serpent location today. I think this was my favourite last time as well. The university with the Starbucks and the fake plane, so cool I feel happy to be at work again. I think leaving this job early is definitely the right decision for me. The world seems brighter and the body lighter. So the second part of the night, kinda like yesterday, is on a dirty street. Last night it was rats, now it’s cockroaches. Mmm M. Also I am feeling incredibly hot and light headed today. No idea why. My agent sent me an email about possible job in Iceland for the autumn winter and although being in a cold climate is not something I like for work, I am almost tempted. 

Friday. I have learnt something new about myself today. We are filming in the studio where our fantastic art department recreated and built The Blue boat. The one I spent 10 weeks contained in. As I have walked inside to have a look at where my video village used to be my body just said no. I literally started having a panic attack. Isn’t that crazy? Now I am sitting with my new AirPods Pro in my ears listening to the music I don’t normally listen to and it is helping me to relax. Also writing. Crazy. Next I will call my mama and cannot wait to tell that to my therapist too.

Saturday. First week in Bangkok is done. We went out for a bit after work last night. It was an actually a good week of work and being out felt like a nice conclusion. Also reminded of good old Serpent days. Today I went to the Leica store to play around with the camera I want to get. It was great! It is such a beautiful camera.. In the evening We all went to a little party on the roof. It was Annies, Simons and Martins leaving thing at the roof top bar we went to on the Serpent few times. Fun memories. After that we went to the place called Sing Sing, which was also one of the old serpent party venues. So many good memories. The night ended in Seans bedroom back at the hotel for the afterparty. It’s not what it looks like when you read it, it was the afterparty with everyone. 

Sunday. I woke up pretty late as I went to bed pretty early. BUT the highlight of the day was me and Danny going out to the Leica store to by my very first Leica.. I cannot believe it still and doing it with a person who knows his cameras, being the dop and actually owning few Leicas himself was so much fun. So so happy, cannot wait to take my new camera for a walk. In the evening we went to watch the new Top gun film with Nina and Hans. Another fun evening. I love those guys. Oh by the way we also found out that one of the cast tested positive for covid today so we are not filming tomorrow. He was also there at the party with us on Saturday.. Now everyone is under the magnifying glass.

Highlights:

  • Being back in Bangkok.
  • Shooting in the old Serpent locations.
  • Night shoots, means more time during the day. I like that.
  • Pilates. The studio is amazing! One of the best I have been to.
  • Buying the Leica. Cannot wait to show you the photos.
  • Feeling mentally better.
  • Resigning from the job.

Cheers with a glass full of mentaly recharging elephant!