Hello and welcome!
I was blessed enough to make another trip around the sun and it really IS the most important one.
This year and today is special in many ways. First of all I am not working on my birthday, which has not happened since my 27th I believe. Also I am in Lithuania in my hometown, where I have not been on my birthday since I turned 17. So yes, a little while.
Considering that I did not expect to be here and fully available on my birthday I did not make any huge plans, but also I suppose I have grown to appreciate little routines. This year saw me change and grow and I am very pleased that I can reflect on that now.
SO my 31st was in Norway. Which was great. After that I travelled to Rome for love. Well not really, but for the boy I liked and was kinda rejected by. What I have learned is to put myself out there and be ready to be rejected or disappointed when things do not work out, because it is ok. Finding love is not easy, but it doesn’t mean you should stop letting yourself to fall in love or like or whatever. Feeling warm feelings is great and it is still worth it regardless of the outcome.
Also while I was in Rome I have finally decided to sign up for therapy. AND this has been one of the big life decisions I have made last year and keep recommending it to my friends. Firstly, being open about your mental health and secondly actually doing something about it. Talking to a professional is not the same as unloading on your friends. My friendships got so much better after I started talking to my therapist. In general the whole reflecting on life and work and love became easier. Solely for the fact that I dedicate that one hour once a week to do it.
Of course I have to mention, that I have purchased an apartment. Finally I am a real homeowner. This was something I wanted for a while. I used to joke, that I live off my suitcase because I am saving for my own home. The joke turned out to be true. Also the second part of the joke was, that now that I am single I managed to save up for the aforementioned apartment. It is also partly true. However, now I just look at it all easier – aka, I do not give those jokes too much thought. Owning home for someone like me, who travels a lot was a significant purchase for my mental state and the way I want to view my life. I am not yet sure how that feeling will grow, but I am open to exploring it.
My dating life this year has seen a huge improvement. Well basically I started dating consciously. I know it sounds weird, but really this year it felt like for the first time I was making decisions and thinking what works for me and what doesn’t. I suppose I learnt to see what I like and stopped giving charity to those who I did not align with. Shocking that it has taken me this long. But better later than never.
Another huge thing this year was that I actually quit a job. Quit it on the basis of realising that I deserve better. Better treatment, better support, just overall better. Perks of growing up and realising your own value. Ah yes now on top of that is the fact that I changed my agent, which is kinda like turning a fresh page.
Finally, which is not to say that it is all, but for the sake of keeping it structured. I am happy to say that I made friends this year, I maintained friendships and some even saw improvement. I turned an an “enemy” into a friend. I feel like I have a bit of a friend group. I am happy.
P.S. I started my teeth straightening journey again. It feels somewhat significant, because that was one of my life long dreams which I thought I achieved 10 years ago with the braces, but I suppose some dreams can never be fully accomplished as they would loose that “dream” status.
All in all, it is 4pm here on my birthday and so far my celebrations included cleaning my apartment, accepting desert deliveries from my friends and family and writing those reflections. AND you know what, it makes me very happy. There is nowhere else I would rather be.
Sending you all big love!